You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
