i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize