You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
