morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My bed smells like the plague
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
