STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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