A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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