Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
