Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
