You're completely useless in the revolution.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
