try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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