Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
