I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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