he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
