i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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