That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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