Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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