I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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