remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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