i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
