we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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