i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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