scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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