Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
