GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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