she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
