I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
