i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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