If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize