I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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