i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
