I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
