Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
