Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Someone shattered a urinal.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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