she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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