so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
