put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize