she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
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I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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