i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
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Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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