We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
did i just pee glitter
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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