If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
