shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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