It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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