Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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