Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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