He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
