he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
