im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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