I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
