You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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