That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
