Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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