I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
