whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
