I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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