is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
