Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize