he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
