Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
