Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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