you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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