Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
