i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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